happy birthday to meee, happy birthday to meee...

well, ya, it's 3 days ago, but i've been bumming around "on the carpet" as Slesh would've put it. woo~ finally 17. =p doesn't feel much different, except maybe no more "oh you're still 16 ahhhhh?????"

i didn't get any pictures for the day, cos nothing interesting happened. aside from people being nicer and happier around me. wahahaha. i got a freaking call at midnite from my sister in melbourne.

Sis: Happeee biirtthhdaayyyy tooo yewwwwww, hhaaaappeee biiirttthhhhdaaaaayyy tooo yewwwww, haaappeeeee birthdaaayyyy toooo yewwwww, hhaaappeeeee birthdaaayyyy toooo yewwwww!!!!

Me: *grunt grunt* uhhhh...o hi, thanks.

Sis: What you doing ha? You're 17!!!!

Me: Uhhh...sleeping..?

Koko: Bangun woiii....

Lolz. They were cramming at 2 am in the morn. Ahhh welll. Wish I was more awake that time, otherwise I could've joined in the festive mood. Anyyhoo, I got an SMS from Farah H. too after that call. Wahlao, these people nothing to do issit? Wait till midnight to send greetings... XD Thaaaankkkkyewwwwwww anyway =)

Well the day went by fine. Lotsa greetings la. Woo~ Leong I like you're gift ;) Everygirl who turns 17 loooooove chocolate as a gift. Wahahaha.

It's a big, fat bar of black forest chocolate AAAAALLLLLL for me =)

Hmm..I had a Biology paper that morning. It was surprisingly easy. All past year paper questions woot = =" Dunno what the teacher was thinking. I'll be damned if i can't score an A for that.

Then my parents took me out to dinner. Not bad lah, but I was feeling crummy because I just woke up and my hair looked bad. HAHA. Then it turns out, they bought THIS...

...latest Phillips DVD player fer a freakin $159. And it's sooooooo thiiiiin & liiiight. Well course, this kinda bday gift ain't complete without this...

...DVDs to go with it. ^^ Oh, excuse the batteries. They just wanted to be in the picture, the photowhores.

Well then, no birthday is complete without that special silver box...

Chocolate cake!!! Well there was one more slice, but it went down my tummy faster than the camera shutter. =)

So there you go. Nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't expect anything extra ordinary either. lolz. I luv em all the cards n lil gifts I got. Thankyew. ^^

You make it sound so bad...

No one wants to live here once they've got a taste of the outside world, no matter how much tougher or complicated it is. Why? Read Val's entry on being Bruneian. Sad to say, I'm guilty of almost 50% of them statements. =p

This goes a lot to show the situation in this country. No public bullsh*tting without having the government breathing down your neck. No economical or social growth. I see the same old shops in Seria today like I've seen them 10 freaking years ago. People seriously ogle at you when you're innocently strolling along the shops, whether you're decently dressed or not. There aren't even freaking proper sport centres here.

No wall climbing, no ice skating (the wax one at the mall doesn't count), no bowling (in belait), no movie centre (in belait and the OGDC crap doesn't count either), no activities worth doing, no dog watching so you risk getting your ass bitten everytime you wanna jog or cycle, no even bloody students' union ( the one my school has doesn't count cos its only for 'prefects' and they don't even have activities SUs should have) and no jobs or attachments even for under 18s. Want me to go on?

~I love ranting. And I rant a lot. If someone paid me to rant, I would be disgustingly rich.~

People here...they're all hypocrits. T_T And I've gotta say the adults here, majority of them don't think much of anyone younger than 21. IT'S THIS BAD!!!!! I asked a friend once what he'd like Brunei to have, and he said simply "Democracy." Looks like a lot of people don't have much faith in our Ruler and his government anymore. Come to think of it, maybe even never had.

ehh...sparse blue skies...just like the desertification of society.

it was a beautiful morning

The first light of the day.
The object of the day.
Facing the sun.



Feeling good already.
This nutter craves attention.
A series of contrasts.





Quack.
Umm...rabbit cheep?

ahh...the highs of hot milo + mr brown energy drink + blessed be music in the wee hours of the morn...










it's kinda fun being a photowhore really. i didn't want to waste the good light anyway...

Death of Love

Even during her last hours, Datin Paduka Seri Endon's thoughts were of the people and her family.

“Take care of everybody and the family,” she advised her husband Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi and family members gathered round her bedside.
“I promised her that I would do it,” a weeping Rahmah Mahmood, Endon's sister, told The Star.

It rained the whole day yesterday as the nation mourned the passing of Endon. Tens of thousands of people – from royalty, presidents, prime ministers to ordinary people – paid their last respects to our Beloved First Lady, sharing their grief with the family at the Prime Minister's residence, the Putrajaya Mosque and the burial ground. Many wept openly at the great loss the nation has suffered.

Malaysia Star - 21 OCtober 2005

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I never really knew of the lady till now. Never really saw her or even thought much about PM Abdullah Badawi's wife. All I knew was that she had breast cancer was doing just fine. But then her death came and everything rained down on me. Her contributions to Malaysian culture, Breast Cancer organizations, and concrete support for her husband. Read more here. I mean, I went like whoa, where have I been?

The thing that caught my attention the most the Badawi and Endon love. I felt something tug my heart inside when some reporter asked how Pak Lah felt and he said "Lonely...lonely". *eyes raining buckets*

I noticed he also rained her grave with like tons of petals. I mean tons and tons of petals. It's just like he's trying to preserve her as fresh and sweet as he can in his mind. I don't doubt it actually. It just makes me want to cry knowing that a person can feel such a great loss and still be patient with it. I hope I can be that strong.

No doubt the whole of Malaysia is mourning the loss of a beloved beacon of hope. Hell, I know I am.

Doesn't it make you wonder how life can surprise you when you least expect it? I keep trying to imagine death and what comes after that. I see the pictures in my head but I just can't seem to feel anything. No fear no remorse no nothing. I pray to God to soften my heart cos I sure don't wanna go to hell.

I find that I empathise with loss of a person easily. I wonder why. I never lost anyone close. So why do I know what to feel? Maybe the answers are in front of me. Maybe I just haven't bothered to pay attention.

I envy them. I wish one day I can find a relationship as solid and sweet as they had.

Life is like a jar of kueh mor

No meh? Well I think so. Lemme tell you why.

The kueh mor top of the jar are always the ones with the least sugar powder. Life started out that way. Then we go on and worked all the way, right down to the sweetest part at the bottom of the jar. It might be an old, used Nescafe jar, but it's been useful far longer than new jars. Been filled with coffee, and previous kueh mors. Wiser and experienced. Every year, there's always a fresh jar of kueh mor to signify the arrival of a fresh start. But its always in the same old Nescafe jar. Remind us of our roots. When its all gone, we put the empty jar away at the back of the cupboard. Somethings are just meant to lie hidden until the need to use them surfaces.


Oh and in the midyear, we enjoy life every now and then with a crunchy sweet peanut buttery Snickers bar.

Of Faith and Religion

The other day, I was sitting in school with Vivienna, Lai and Adam. We just finished a Maths exam which was a total brain buster fer me cos I was only half awake. But yes my dear parents if you're reading this, I believe I can still get an A. *wry smile*

Anyway we were discussing Chemistry, when it somehow went off track to golf, puasa, marriage and religion. Lai said his grandfather converted to a Buddhist before he died, so now everyone else in the family are Buddhists. The don't give much of a damn really, just go to the temple and pray. Like once a year? My impertinent friend here bought joss sticks to play with firecrackers. = ="

Lai lai laiiii....come pray forgiveness, or no more firecrackers on Chinese New Year haaa.

Temple keeper: Hello there. How can I help you?

Devout : A pack of joss sticks please.

Temple keeper: That'll be $3. Eh you come here very often ha. So you must pray a lot?

Lai: No lahhh. These sticks are great for firecrackers. You don't know meh?

Temple keeper: ...Oh ya ya. Er...but why temple joss sticks leh? Go Miri buy cheaper what.

Lai: Aiyaa, support the temple mahh. You all need money also right?

~~~~~~~

I just see it as totally wrong. When you simply name yourself a follower because someone says so, it doesn't make you one. Don't get me wrong. As a Muslim, I believe in God. But I also respect other religions. I believe that having faith in any God is better than none. But to say that you're a Buddhist or Christian or whatever lah because someone told you to, is downright wrong and disrespectful. Why even bother to do so if you don't have any faith in it?

Then he said, "So if a Chinese marries a Muslim, become Malay lah."

I dunno why her mouth is gaping open but does she look malay to you? = ="

Let's get this misconception right once and for all. Being Malay doesn't make you a Muslim. Malay is race. Muslim is religion. It just so happens that most Malays are Muslims. But there ARE Malays who are non-muslims. And in my opinion, if a person converts to a Muslim just because he/she is going to marry one, it just shows faithless that person is. To a higher power I mean. Sure they must love their significant other very much to do so. But if you're going to marry a Muslim,you've got to love the person first, AND love the religion too. It goes the same for any other religion too. Simply converting may make you a Muslim, but it doesn't make you a true Muslim.

Don't get me wrong. My mom converted too when she married my dad. But at least she understands Islam and its commitments, and respects it. My point is that a person shouldn't simply say that oh yeah I'm of this religion because my parents said so but I don't give a damn anyway. Have some respect. If you don't believe in God, then say that you don't. Don't say that you do just for the sake of having a religion.

Since we're on this topic already anyway, I'd just like to point out that we Muslims have nothing to prove. According to Bush's statement, "The time has come for all responsible Islamic leaders to join in denouncing an ideology that exploits Islam for political ends, and defiles a noble faith." I agree with him.

Yeah it gave me a weird feeling at first, after constantly calling him monkey face and all that, but he's right. What he didn't say is that we tried to explain it all along, and it took them God knows how many bombings and decapitations for them to realize that. I'm still glad of the fact that they at least took this initiative. BUT it's not only our responsibility to fight the extremists. It's everyones. Hey it's not our fault some people got carried away and became deluded with the notion they're pleasing a God. *shrug* Crazy people. Sigh. The world is full of lunatics.

Attention : I'm not out to insult people who converted due to marriage. I'm not insulting any other religions. I'm just saying what I believe in. I'm also not saying Islam is the one and only religion to follow. No extremism here. I don't believe in forcing people to change their faiths. My one and only point is Don't make religion an excuse.

Oh and a Selamat Berpuasa to yall now ^^ Dontcha just loooove the festive season? All the yummy food and new, pretty baju kurungs I'm getting and the ... opps I got carried away =p

Know A Little

...

Don't ask.

Hi. This is me today.
Well not literally today today but the current today.

That's my mom.

And my dad.

They were in love...

...with badminton.

Still are by the way. Positively obssessed I tell you.

And unfortunately for them obssessive nutters, they ended up with two more (nutters that is).

That one's living off easy-steps-to-cook recipes and writing horrible essays for dead-philosopher-worshipping lecturers in Melbourne.

Sad eh?

Me? I'm once again starting another documentation of my life after 3 (or was that 4? or 5?) painstaking-ass deflating-memory loss inducing attempts.

I've had several business names, most of which have been forgotten by the materialistic and media worshipping public. I like to think I have a creative side though. If you don't think so, go soak your head. *sticking tongue out at ya* No one (well, you didn't claim them!!!) thought of these titles: spico, L.O.W., chickenbrain, iggybug, freebug and currently, updatedversion. So I did.

Welcome to updatedversion's 4th (or is it 5th???) edition of her published life.