vacuum screamer

I want to scream and scream and scream myself hoarse.

i actually yelled "you piece of shit!" at the vacuum just now. it's big-assed size and crappy hose just got to me. oh and i don't regret getting the veronicas. they're good. typical rock ozzie sound. so yea, that explains the screaming. it was funny though. good thing no one's at home to see me yelling at the vacuum.

well, i just got home and we're cleaning the house already. it's omigod so dusty!!!!!!!!! ick. now, everything's clean clean clean, thanks to me n my crappy vacuum. ^^ hmmm. when i say clean, i mean dustless and maybe germless clean. clean does not equal messy, aight?

o man, im so frustrated!

i want to do so many things, i want to say so much, i want to feel something so bad.

im not surprised ive changed yet again. every event does that to me. every trip outside this country always changes my mental clockwork. its not surprising. but its bloody frustrating. i mean, how am i supposed to fit in again? as obnoxious as that sounds, i really find it a hard time trying to hangout with friends, mostly people my age. my mental age feels like its 20+. i know i know, its obnoxious etc etc. well, whats a blog for anyway. i just, sigh. now, i have to find a way to get along again. sometimes, i wish i wasnt so malleable. but then, sometimes i appreciate the fact that i am. i adjust quicker.

dammit. infatuations are bloody frustrating. especially in my case.

i know someone's infatuated with me. i know im infatuated with someone else. i was so infatuated with a dark choc suckao i was literally high on choc drugs. i know i'll be infatuated yet again next time i'll go crazy and obsessive like this. i cant think about anything else!!!!!! >.<

dammit dammit dammit. i know i dont have to do anything about it. infatuations dont necessarily matter. but when they do, i just go blank. stupid. stupid stupid stupid. see how frustrated i am now? maybe i should go shout at the vacuum somemore.

here's what im thinking now:

a few phrases from the veronicas - revolution

I am temperamental Like a heart without a home I am sentimental But you dont know me at all I have expectations I wanna be the one you call And I want a conversation But you dont know me at all If you knew me at all You'd take my picture And you'd hang it on your wall

a few phrases from the same song, which i wish theyre true *melodramatic sigh*

Hold on tight I am Im a revolution Close your eyes I am, I am I'll blow your mind I am Im a revolution Why do i have to explain Who I am again and again I amI know what you're thinkin I can tell what you're waitin for But I think that you're pretendin But you dont fool me at all I didnt know that you've been wanting me Oh how's a girl supposed to know Just when you think that it's all tragedy Dont worry baby I'll go slow

i always seem to like people i cant have. what is with that??? oh and just so you know, i'll never admit this infatuation to anehbodeh. unless branded with a hot poker or something liddat.

"I'm quiet you know You make a first impression I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind", howie day's collide.

sigh. i think im done venting. im all spent. i just wish the thoughts would go away. i dont like being this vulnerable.