collide

im sitting in my sister's room, with my sister and mom. it's 1.30 in the morning. they're talking about umm...tonight's forthcoming dinner. howie day's collide is on repeat. i just took off my glasses because i don't want to focus anymore. ive stopped listening. i just hear the tunes and hums and sounds.

the purple crown i drew on my hand is smudged. my hair's all messed up and i want to sleep but can't. sometimes my legs twitch at night when i canl sleep. i can see the sillhouete of the trees swaying through a crack in the blinds. most of the time i try not to think of pushing my sister off the bed and hog the quilt.

they're gossiping now. im still enjoying typing.

so many emotions and needs. this week has been hard. on everyone. i dont want to think. about the past. about the future. i just dont want to be anymore.

im 17. i feel that not enough has happened to me. everything just passes by as a blur. everything around me just moves at a speed faster than me. i feel warped. what am i typing now?

right now, my template would be a mellow yellow and blue. with a thin, jagged gray line along the edges. i think i'll go dive under the covers now. nothing more, nothing less.