i know what i wished is right

There are more than enough reasons why I want to get out from here. All this time, I've been waiting and wishing, planning my future. All that time, I never focused on my present. Every year, things just became clearer and transparent. My X-ray senses have always been a bonus. Now I just know for sure.

I'm not sorry though. I'm only sorry for the times I snapped, only at the cost of losing friends. I'm only sorry for the times I didn't speak up, because I was too shy. I'm only sorry for the times I hurt people, when my brainwashed mind spoke before I did. I'm only sorry I made mistakes. At my cost. Never at anyone else's.

I've never been good at expressing myself. One reason was that I didn't want to. I believe Mystery suits me. The want to perform something is different from the ability to do it. I didn't want the practise of exposing my thoughts. My thoughts are hence worth more than a dollar, much less a penny.

I do wish I was never born though. I've wished, and I'm still wishing for it. The processes of life and death are just too much for a selfish soul like me.

The thing to understand is that there's always more to what I say or do. I'm a closed box. It's only life's spoon that forces me to open the lid a little. It's funny how people feel better after pouring out their soul. I just feel worse.